Gaslighting is a nasty little manipulative technique that all varieties of Narcissists use to keep you confused and wondering what is going on.  It erodes a persons’ mind and usually causes the target to think they are going crazy.  It’s the bait and switch.  You know one thing is going on and went on but they are twisting everything around and saying something else is going on.

For instance, they will claim that a certain conversation did not go the way you are saying it went.  So they will twist it in their favor. They will say you did things or said things that you never said or did and you become confused about whether you did or said them.

For instance, I once had a false witness rise against me and this person was claiming I declared something I never declared.  Because he had the support of another Narcissist who obviously did not correct it cause it was ammunition in his favor I began to doubt my own memory.  I started to say to myself “maybe I did say that… I don’t remember saying that.. no I didn’t say that.. but did I?”  But after I began to research the effects of gaslighting I realized I had been manipulated and that the Malignant Narcissist I knew allowed the other Narcissist to be a false witness against me.

Another time the Malignant Narcissist and a Covert Narcissist came to me and said that I told somebody something I never told them.  I kept denying it and they said I was lying.  I then caved a little because once again I began to doubt my memory.   Were they right?  Did I say something and not realize it?  This is called gaslighting.  This is the type of abuse that can drive people to become very insecure and have a nervous breakdown.  Victims of gaslighting often begin to apologize a lot because they become uncertain of their own reality.   The Narcissists involved insist that their perspective is correct and that their targets are not correct which leads to more heartache for the target as no conversation is allowed to take place regarding it.

Another example of gaslighting could be when you say to someone “well, you said this…..”  And the Narcissists says  “I never said that..”.  You begin to think you’re going crazy.

The most harmful type of gaslighting that I experienced is when I was trying to protect some people’s feelings and instead of them portraying it in the correct light they portrayed all my motives and everything I did in a harmful light.  They twisted the entire narrative around in their favor to make themselves look like the victims/heros when in reality they were trying to destroy me.  And Narcissists have a variety of reasons to destroy a person.

Are You a Victim of Gaslighting Emotional Abuse?

According to author and psychoanalyst Robin Stern, Ph.D., the signs of being a victim of gaslighting emotional abuse include:²

1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself.
2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
4. You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend,, boss.
5. You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier.
6. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family.
7. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.
8. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
9. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
10. You have trouble making simple decisions.
11. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person – more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
12. You feel hopeless and joyless.
13. You feel as though you can’t do anything right.
14. You wonder if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/ wife/employee/ friend; daughter.
15. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses.

A fantastic article written on Gaslighting:

You’re Not Going Crazy: 15 Signs You’re a Victim of Gaslighting

GASLIGHTING DEFINITION, TECHNIQUES AND BEING GASLIGHTED

https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/gaslighting-definition-techniques-and-being-gaslighted/#sthash.twpjkrKl.dpuf

Why Gaslighting is such a secretly sinister form of abuse

https://www.yahoo.com/news/why-gaslighting-secretly-sinister-form-210000959.html